I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
