You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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