watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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