hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
