okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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