hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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