carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
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