Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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