Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
