just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize