If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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