Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Randomize
