No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
