I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Randomize
