WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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