At least make sure they are 18
Why
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize
