she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
