Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
