You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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