Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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