so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
