If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
