I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
