Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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