it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
