Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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