Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
