i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
tell me about the eggs
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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