my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Randomize