I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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