I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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