just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
