i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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