would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
