Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Randomize
