No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
