You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
