I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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