Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
don't judge my taste in strippers
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
