Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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