The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Two words: blizzard sex
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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