Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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