That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
