You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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