I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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