is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
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