I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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