my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
