I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize