Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Randomize
