I need help removing her.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
