Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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