I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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