I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
