I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
