If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
