considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
