I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
