You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
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