i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
