I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Randomize
