and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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