Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
