Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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